“Love is patient and kind.” 1Corinthians 13:4
The space shuttle named Discovery was grounded once. It wasn’t because of technical difficulties, or because they didn’t have enough funding, but it was grounded because of woodpeckers. Seriously! The birds started pecking at the foam that insulated the shuttle’s external fuel tank. That foam served a critical role to the shuttle’s performance. Without it, ice can build up on the tank when it’s filled with fuel; ice that will break free during lift off and damage the shuttle. The lesson here is this. Most often than not, our marriages are not damaged by the big things like unfaithfulness, abuse or rage. Our marriages are most often damaged by the little things like constant criticizing, not respecting your spouse, or constantly taking each other for granted. When you peck away at your relationship, it keeps it from being all that God intended it to be.
I hear husbands and wives saying this about their partners. “They just did that in bad taste.” Remember not to criticize your spouses taste to quickly. They chose you. Don’t say things like, I’m just stating the facts. Oswald Chambers said, “God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize one another, but that we may pray for one another.” When you find yourself criticizing more than praying you need to take a step back and re-examine your approach.
Remember nagging one another doesn’t work; it only tears down and grates on the nerves. True change is seldomly birthed out of forcing someone into something. True change more likely comes when an individual feels validated and understood. The Bible says, “Love is patient love is kind.” Instead of pecking holes in your spouse, why not remember the qualities that attracted you to them in the first place. Build on those qualities, while striving to bring out the best in each other. If you don’t, who will? Paul said: “Fix your thoughts on what ever is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8 NLT).
Give your marriage a chance. Don’t be a woodpecker.
For those of you who are wondering. Brook’s post is coming soon.